One in every village.

There's one in every village you will see her curtains twitch, the one two hundred years ago would be branded as a witch.

She's the one who knows your business before you do yourself. and it's best to just ignore it if you value your good health.

If someone has a baby, or they're having an affair. You'll see her in the window, watching from her chair.

And she'll spread around the gossip like confetti at a wedding, she'll even tell the neighbours when you change your bedding.

She makes everything her business, she'll know the colour of your knickers. She'll be waiting in the churchyard to see whose chatting to the vicar.

And if you have just moved in she'll invite herself to tea, to check the colour of your curtains and find out your history.

We don't worry about break ins, she's like a private guard. She'd be asking them for details before they crossed the yard.

And she'll check on poor old Ethel and bore her half to death, about the price of milk and taters and hardly draw a breath.

There's one in every village it's as if they share them out from a school for nosey neighbours sprinkled carefully about.

And when she finally goes to that heavenly village in the sky you know she'll still be watching like a celestial village spy! Jan Millward©