Relationship advice for men.

If you are newly married there are some things you need to know, if you want your love to blossom this is how your love will grow.

Never ever tell her that's she's put on a bit of weight, or say that she's more curvy than on that sweet first date.

Don't tell her she looks puffy, or mention blood shot eyes. She never will forget it, and she'll use it to chastise

Don't criticise her cooking, or say your Mum knows best. She will set out to entrap you, she'll see it as a test.

Don't ogle other women when you're walking up the street, or say that they look gorgeous or you like them quite petite.

And if she ever tells you she has nothing left to wear, don't open up the wardrobe even for a dare.

Don't even try a cuddle if she is feeling down, And back off several inches if she starts to frown

And never ever call her by your exe's name, or she will try to maim you, she will have a perfect aim.

Don't buy her clothes for Christmas if you get them way too small. Or you will find your suitcase packed and waiting in the hall.

You will find out the hard way that you never must forget, birthdays and anniversaries and the place that you first met.

And if she's feeling poorly or has had a trying day, don't ask her where your tea is

if you want your love to say.

If she is somewhat moody don't ask if it's the week, when she gets tired and cranky or your future may be bleak.

And if you say you'll be home by a certain time, you must try your best to make it, late is another crime.

Don't criticise her driving, just keeping looking straight ahead. A bitten tongue is better, some things are best unsaid

Don't put her pic' on facebook unless she has passed it first, that is a great big no no and you'll be forever cursed.

If she keeps sheep and cattle she won't tell you to your face, but they will be her favourites you will have to learn your place.

But if she really loves you she won't ever want another as long as you don't ever say she's turned into her mother! Jan Millward©