©Jan Millward, 2018

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Relationship advice for men.

June 23, 2017

 

If you are newly married
there are some things you need to know,
if you want your love to blossom
this is how your love will grow.

 

Never ever tell her
that's she's put on a bit of weight,
or say that she's more curvy
than on that sweet first date.

 

Don't tell her she looks puffy,
or mention blood shot eyes.
She never will forget it,
and she'll use it to chastise

 

Don't criticise her cooking,
or say your Mum knows best.
She will set out to entrap you,
she'll see it as a test.

 

Don't ogle other women 
when you're walking up the street,
or say that they look gorgeous
or you like them quite petite.

 

And if she ever tells you
she has nothing left to wear,
don't open up the wardrobe
even for a dare.

 

Don't even try a cuddle
if she is feeling down,
And back off several inches
if she starts to frown

 

And never ever call her
by your exe's name,
or she will try to maim you,
she will have a perfect aim.

 

Don't buy her clothes for Christmas
 if you get them way too small.
Or you will find your suitcase
packed and waiting in the hall.

 

You will find out the hard way
that you never must forget,
birthdays and anniversaries
and the place that you first met.

 

And if she's feeling poorly
or has had a trying day,
don't ask her where your tea is

if you want your love to say.

 

If she is somewhat moody
don't ask if it's the week,
when she gets tired and cranky
or your future may be bleak.

 

And if you say you'll be home
by a certain time,
you must try your best to make it,
late is another crime.

 

Don't criticise her driving,
just keeping looking straight ahead.
A bitten tongue is better,
some things are best unsaid

 

Don't put her pic' on facebook
unless she has passed it first,
that is a great big no no
and you'll be forever cursed.

 

If she keeps sheep and cattle
she won't tell you to your face,
but they will be her favourites
you will have to learn your place.

 

But if she really loves you
she won't ever want another
as long as you don't ever 
say she's turned into her mother!
Jan Millward©

 

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