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The village gossip

January 12, 2017

 

Mrs Sylvia Smith was telling Joan Morris about her husbands bunion.
This was misheard by Jennifer Jones, who thought she had halitosis from eating onions. Her neighbour Stephanie Butler took it that bad breath was having a negative effect on Sylvia's marriage to George. Stephanie told her hairdresser Pippa, who told Monica Adkins, but Monica was under the drier and thought she was talking about Sheila Carter. Sheila was the local chiropodist and had been booked for a private visit by Sylvia for a professional opinion. When Sheila was seen chatting to George in the supermarket by the grapefruit, Brenda Hopkins reported to Ethel Bennett that she heard Sheila call him sweet, whereas she had been talking about his feet. Ethel reported the liaison to  Shirley Harptree, the church organist at choir practice and she promised to pray for her soul, but not before telling Tina Green that Ethel had feelings for George, because why else would she be trying to come between a husband and his wife. Tina quickly booked herself in for a perm so that she could see the look on Pippa's face when she found out that Ethel had been sleeping with George, but was she horrified to see George in the chair having a dry trim. Pippa was being particularly attentive and when George told her was going away on business, she naturally assumed that he was in fact booking a hotel for a sordid romp with Shirley, because why else would Shirley have her roots done two weeks before she was due? This was witnessed by Danielle Baker who decided to inform Angela Atkinson from The Nags Head that Pippa had been rather frivolous with George and wondered if  Pippa's Barry knew quite how flirtatious she was at work. She decided to ask Emma Butcher if she knew that Pippa was sexually attracted to Sylvia's George. Emma said she had noticed an attraction, but didn't think anything of it, although Barry had been cutting the  hedge  next door to Sylvia's garden with his shirt off , which was obviously a blatant signal that he knew all about the affair and was flaunting himself in a vain attempt at revenge.
Joan Morris walked into the hairdressers and reaching in her handbag, she handed George “Special cream and a dressing”, which caused Pippa to drop her scissors. George in a rare moment of pleasure, glimpsed  Pippa's breasts  as she stooped to pick them up off the floor, just as Sylvia walked past the window. Sylvia stormed in the salon and grabbing poor George by the ear marched him home on his bad bunion. Barry was at that moment eating homemade flapjack given to him by Shirley, who just happened to be passing, although she still had her binoculars hung around her neck.
That night George made passionate love to his surprised wife whilst imagining the tantalising glimpse of Tina's ample bosom. Barry had developed a nasty rash from leaving his shirt off on such a hot day and was sleeping in the spare room so as not to interfere with Tina's new tan. The rest of the village rested ready for a new day tomorrow.
Jan Millward©

 

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